Sunday, December 2, 2007

Circle

Music always plays in my mind. If something rattles around in there for long enough, I've learned to listen. It is my subconscious screaming at me because I'm too stubborn to listen to anything but music. Edie Brickell's Circle has been circling (bad pun alert!)in my head for some time. I think it relates to my last post about the movie. I don't quit or give up, but "being alone is the best way to be." I'm rediscovering me, and I like it. There is strength in alone and a sensitivity. I've been thinking a lot, working out, walking, and remembering. I spent so much of my time thinking about an "us" that I forgot about the "me." Ultimately, what is an us without a me?

Cheng hears Ershou Meigui's Love Train. This song reminds him of his destiny, and ultimately keeps him on his journey. Ershou Meigui translates to Second Hand Roses but they are not a Broadway hit. One of the first major Chinese rock bands, they combine traditional instruments and rock instruments, traditional images and edgy, modern images. The lead singer dresses like a female opera singer. They turn tradition on its side while also using these traditional images and patriotic lyrics to crash down barriers. They're amazing. Just click on Love Train to listen.

When I was in Nepal, a song like this stopped me from throwing in the towel my first month. It was January and every day the village was obscured in chilling clouds. The cold and the mist got into my bones. I moved from my host's smokey room to the goat shed because I preferred the cold to the smoke. The students weren't showing up to school yet and it was too silent. I sat in that silence until I felt it crawling over me like spiders pushing me to run down the hill to catch the first bus home. As I walked down beneath the clouds, felt the heat of the valley warming me, I heard a song in my head telling me to stay. I stood still, listening to the rain, the water buffalos munching hay, the children singing in the fields, and the song in my head. I can't remember the song, but I remember its message. I turned around and climbed back up. I never felt like leaving again.

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